MY HEART KNOCKS

my heart knocks
   I knock on a
      a heart lying like any
it’s the applause like a whisper through the audience I open
   door, a chest like a treasure in the coffin, his heart
      organ on the table
only to disappear into another chamber
   is no longer beating, the lights out in the house
      lukewarm and bloody like his love
a labyrinth of closing doors
   something seeping quietly from my veins and into
      and dripping off me like the rain that his roof
a thousand mouths closing around me
   fat storage in buttocks and thighs, all the meals
      couldn’t protect me from, the rain seeping in
when the reviewers go silent
   he will no longer ride off me
      to my eyes like a sorrow I haven’t conceived
even criticism has died away from me
   all the habits he will no longer improve
      how do I get my heart to keep
how do I get all the audience’s hearts to
   how do I keep the rhythm
      time with what is no
beat
   how do I keep
      longer
in time?
   time?
      beating?